My little update.
I had my first MRI on Thursday. It was an “open” MRI but it still freaked me out so I sang songs from The Sound of Music in my head the entire time with my eyes closed to try and forget where I was. I can’t imagine being in a “closed” MRI. The doctors office called on Monday and advised they see a bulging disc with a little narrowing of the spine and all of this is pushing/pinching a nerve causing the pain (and by pain I mean oh my god I can’t even use my arms and legs to push myself off the bed because every part of my body is for some reason connected to this nerve. And don’t even think of standing up. Crawling is painful.)
Talking to my mom I found out that I am the last person in my family to be diagnosed with a bulging disc so it’s really not a big deal. Everyone has at least one and I see them dealing everyday so I’m feeling better about things. Granted I don’t know if their discs are messing with nerves…but still. It does make me feel better.
Tomorrow is my last day of steroids to temporarily deal with this pain but I’ve been told they will stay in my system a few more days. I’m enjoying them because they made me feel so much better but I hate them because I’m always hungry and I don’t want to think about the weight I’ve gained. Seriously, depressing.
I have an appointment next Wednesday (31st) to go to a specialist who happens to also be a family friend and he’ll tell me for sure if they diagnosed me correctly (yes, we believe him no matter what. If he created a cult, my family would join. No questions asked.) or not so I’m excited to see him. At this point the only thing we imagine will happen is he’ll open up a way for me to get meds the next time this happens so that I don’t have to be in a lot of pain for a while until things get better (and by better I mean the swelling/inflammation from hell goes away so my nerve doesn’t feel like superman is squeezing it to death).
I want so badly to feel good again. I want to be motivated and work out again. I’m hoping that next week will go well and that I’ll find that confidence to start working out again and not be afraid that every single move I make will kill me. Literally.
