July 2010
1 post
One Twenty Five: I never understood why people... →
I never understood why people wouldn’t give their exact weight on their blogs. What was the big deal? You’re a weight loss blog, trying to lose weight, people won’t judge the number, as that’s the point, isn’t it? I’ve even received questions, “how do you find the courage to post your actual…
I feel like this is every thought I’ve had every day for weeks upon weeks. all about...
June 2010
3 posts
NGL. I had 5 (!!!!) eggo buttermilk pancakes this morning for breakfast (with light syrup). then a couple of all white turkey dogs w/ wheat buns and some wheat thin chips with 3 slices of sharp cheddar cheese for lunch. I’ve had I don’t know how many peanut butter m&m’s (really not many) and I’m sitting here thinking i’d like to go out and get a burger and fries...
I’m going to try something new tomorrow. I’m going to set my alarm clock for 5:00 a.m. and go for a 30 minute walk. I’m also going to try writing Morning Pages which is the first project in The Writing Diet.
It all feels very daunting right now. 5:00 a.m. especially. I’m not a morning person so we’ll see if any of this actually happens.
It’s been quite a while since I felt motivated to lose weight. Each morning I get dressed for work I curse myself as some of my clothes are beginning not to fit again. Even with that, I still can’t find all the motivation I did last year.
I’m coming to terms with my lower back and realizing that it’s in as good a shape as it’s going to get unless I lose weight and...
May 2010
5 posts
An afternoon of my thoughts:
“Damn. I wish I had her body. Burger King sounds good.”
“I’d give anything for jeans to look like that on me. Do I want chicken or burger?”
“I like how you can see her shoulder bones and how small her neck looks. Should I get a regular meal or large? I really want a large fry but know I should just get a small.”
“If...
I cannot become what I want to be, by remaining...
(via one-twenty-five)
“I’m so bored with life. This routine. With my constant struggles and always...”
– (via downsizing) via One Twenty Five
I feel this way just about every day of my life. The only thing that keeps me from disappearing and trying to start my life over (I guess that’s all I’d be trying to do) is knowing it would crush my parents.
I ate low cal today and that led to me eating NON-STOP so I feel disgustingly full right now. I know everyday is a battle. Tomorrow I’ll try again and will try to not eat everything in sight.
I stocked up on good stuff this weekend. I forgot to buy a scale though. May do that tomorrow…hopefully.
April 2010
11 posts
I’ve decided I want a real scale.
Any suggestions?
So, I have to work on strengthening my back muscles and abs. Basically, I have no strength and it’s what’s making my spine hurt because I’ve got nothing working to keep my torso up. At least that’s how I understand it all. To do this I have to walk a lot (thus why I bought the pedometer) and do crunches (like 100 a day) and pelvic tilts.
I just did 40 crunches and 15...
I’m depressed.
Sometimes it’s hard for me to realize that’s my problem. I am exhausted with life. Anything that interests me only lasts for a couple of minutes. I have no energy to do anything but sit/lay and no motivation to try anything else.
I go through the motions of what living should sort of look like to the people around me I guess. Nothing makes me happy…not even...
So, I need to build muscles in my core and at the same time learn how to use them to like…live, not just working out. I use my low back for everything I do and that’s not good. Apparently (go figure) normal people (and by normal, I mean everyone but me) use *all* their muscles to make their body function.
I have no idea where to start.
I’ve been told people use their abs to...
glamourandgrace-deactivated2011 asked: Hey! Does your pedometer have a way to program your actual stride? The one I purchased had me measure the length of ten steps. I believe the average stride for a woman is 28 inches and mine is around 28/29.
I've been trying to get in a minimum of 3 miles a day, but an ideal of 5 whenever I can and I've seen results from that. The majority of my exercise comes from walking...
I've been trying to get in a minimum of 3 miles a day, but an ideal of 5 whenever I can and I've seen results from that. The majority of my exercise comes from walking...
Steps in a Mile Calculation
I just found this online…hopefully it’s accurate.
A female 59 inches tall (4’11”) 59 inches X .413 = 24 inches/step (stride length) 63,360 / 24 = 2640 steps/mile
I’ll receive my pedometer on Wednesday. Can’t wait to see how many steps I take to and from my parents.
Update time :)
So, I had my epidural shot on Friday. Thankfully it all went much faster than I expected. As soon as I walked in the building they were ready for me and started my prep. I believe I was in the building for just 1 hour…including a 30 minute required “recovery” period where I enjoyed a coke and a few peanut butter crackers.
The shot was just as painless as everyone...
Proud of me. Walked to and from my parents house for dinner…25 min walk each way. Yeah, it’s not much. But I’m still proud that I did it. Going to start doing it more.
I hope to get my epidural this week. It has been approved…just needs to be scheduled. I’m terribly nervous about it but I have a lot of hope that it will make me feel much better and take the pain...
March 2010
5 posts
Degenerative Disc Disease. (spelling?)
Finally an answer.
Waiting to be approved by my insurance for an epidural.
What will help? Resting when it really hurts, walking as much as I can when it doesn’t and doing crunches to strengthen my stomach and stop depending on my low back for everything.
Weight isn’t a factor (it’s genetic for me). Won’t hurt to lose it though....
My little update.
I had my first MRI on Thursday. It was an “open” MRI but it still freaked me out so I sang songs from The Sound of Music in my head the entire time with my eyes closed to try and forget where I was. I can’t imagine being in a “closed” MRI. The doctors office called on Monday and advised they see a bulging disc with a little narrowing of the spine...
From One-Twenty-Five (bc reblogging isn’t working right?!)
At the end of the day, when you’re lying in bed, there’s nobody to blame but yourself. You lived your day. You made your decisions. You lived your life.
Nobody to blame, but you. Nobody to blame, but me.
I made those decisions, one by one, I made them. I put the chocolate in my mouth. I justified it with excuses. I...
So, here’s the latest update on me.
My back went out again really bad this weekend. I couldn’t stand up. Luckily moving to my small hometown meant I could get a doc to call in meds on the weekend and I did (or my mom did) and I started steroids on Saturday. Things got better but yesterday I pulled it bad getting out of my car going to work. I was able to get into the docs office soon...
Trying to fight emotional eating right now. Trying so very hard. But it’s so difficult when you know it’ll make the tears and bad thoughts and bad feelings go away even if just for a minute.
February 2010
26 posts
So, I woke up this morning with back pain. Not as bad as it’s been in the past but pretty damn bad. I’m going to work from home the next couple of days so I can do what I need to do to feel better (lots of ice packs and muscle relaxers).
I weighed this morning just before the pain set in. I’ve gained 3.9 lbs this week which I expected due to the crappy PMS I’ve had and the...
I may or may not have just eaten two very large, very full bowls of fruity cheerios.
Lunch was a frozen (nuked of course) personal pizza from California Pizza Kitchen, toasted wheat thin chips and water. so full. so good.
Had a good low cal breakfast. Grocery shopped. Washed dishes. Took out trash/recycling. Starting laundry.
About to sit and ready myself to watch some olympics while I read/flip/skim/scan the 4 Fitness, 3 Shape, 2 Health magazines that have been staring at me for FAR too long.
It’s a good day so far (minus the craving for puppies). Hope you are enjoying yours <3
Torturing myself by looking at puppies I shouldn’t buy. Ugh.
I can’t stop eating or control what I eat. I’m depressed about it and blame it on pms. aaarrrggggggggg
thatgirlnamedsmash:
I hope the arrival of my Bodybugg’s Digital Display Watch [which I got on sale for $50!] tomorrow helps to get me back on track. I want to set a minimum standard calorie burn to work towards each day. I’m thinking 3500 burned. I feel like if I can see the number on my wrist in real time [instead of uploading the info a day later], it will push me to work on my calories in...
WII+ME=SORE
exfoliation:
I bought the Wii along with the EA Active game lastnight, and it’s such a great investment. I’m literally sore. I can’t even bathe properly, my arms, thighs, and even my butt is sore. I choose this over my Goodlife membership!
Hi…be careful with EA Active. My doc thinks it’s how I messed up my back (because it requires you to get in specific positions before it moves...
I’m in a mood so this is going to be a post full of complaints. Be warned and please feel free to walk on by if you want. I probably would.
I couldn’t care less what day it is. I’ve never had a valentine so I have nothing to compare being alone to and I’m quite comfy being alone. I slept like crap last night (well the last two nights actually) so I’m very very sleepy...
very disappointed but I know it’s all my fault so oh well. Gained 1.1 lbs this week. ugh.
Just came back from the grocery store:
Simply Orange Juice (duh)
1% Milk (I have to have some flavor!)
Fruity Cheerios (just want to try these)
Special K (craving)
Gala apples (not the same quality I had in Dallas but they’ll do)
Red potatoes
Frozen peas (love love love)
Baby carrots
Pineapple Fruit Cups
Healthy Choice Fresh Mixers - SW Style Chicken (just thought I’d try)
...
Would anyone be truly offended if I posted some SI Swimsuit issue pics for some thinspo?
Confession: My brother is getting married in a month and I don’t want to go because I don’t 1) have a clue what to wear 2) think I could find anything to wear if I wanted to due to my weight. Where do fat girls find acceptable wedding clothes?
I fail as a sister.
thatgirlnamedsmash-deactivated2 asked: I just wanted to let you know that I love the popcorn & oj combo! I think it's the salty popcorn and the tart juice that work so well together! Mmm now I want some. :)
What’s your favorite healthy cereal?
I’ve come to an entry in The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl that makes me both cringe with embarrassment and hope with all the hope in my body because I know and have felt every word she wrote.
Summers.
They suck for fat people.
I hate summers because I sweat excessively and I turn bright red at the slightest hint that my body might make a movement. I’m too fat to wear skirts or...
Watching One Big Happy Family on Discovery Health.
Enjoying a glass of orange juice and some smart pop. I know it’s a weird combo but I’m loving it lately.
So, yeah. I fail at low cal foods.
Breakfast was good.
Lunch = sucked. Popcorn chicken, potato wedges and biscuits w/ a Pespi
Dinner = turkey & swiss pretzel bread sandwich w/ wheat thin chips, pepsi max & chocolate chip cookie. The sucky part? The cookie wasn’t even good.
I feel like crap because I ate like crap yesterday. I don’t know why I feel the urge to sabotage myself and work at ruining the previous weight loss I’ve had.
So, I tried to start out this morning on a good note.
I had a coke zero with some multi-grain eggo waffles with some light syrup. This instead of the regular coke and two (!!!!) chocolate (because two wasn’t bad...
